Blog

Coping with Tragedy

Posted by on Oct 2, 2017 in anxiety, Coping Skills, Loss, Sadness, Stress, Trauma, Violence | 0 comments

Faced with yet another horrific news story about a mass shooting today, most of us are saddened, angered and generally overwhelmed with emotion. There is no logic, and it is impossible to find any meaningful explanation for this event.   How we can cope with this on a personal level is a big question.  While much of my work as a therapist utilizes what is called cognitive therapy, cognitive therapy is not going to help much here. There is no positive way to re-frame senseless killing and dying.  There is no good side to this.  Attempting to...

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Reconnecting

Posted by on Sep 2, 2015 in anxiety, Communication, Depression, Family, Marriage, Mindfulness, Relationships | 0 comments

Human beings are social animals. Although many people are what psychologists call “introverts”, our ancestors throughout almost all of history have spent their time depending upon each other. From an evolutionary perspective, interpersonal relationships are desirable because our connection to others helps us survive physically. Emotions, however, are integral to our human experience.  Our feeling of connection, or bonding, to other people plays a big role in our identity and our emotional well being. Even the most independent of us still want...

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Depression the Distorter

Posted by on Jul 31, 2015 in CBT, Cognitive, Depression, Therapy | 0 comments

Depression can be a debilitating condition, in large part due to how much it distorts our thinking.  These distortions are not hallucinations, but they do skew our vision to make it hard to see things realistically.  Thinking is distorted or filtered by Depression in such a way so that it is hard to see anything good in the world.  Every day life has challenges, road blocks, and sometimes tragedies, and when we are not experiencing Depression, we can see solutions -we have options.  With Depression, we feel like we are stuck, it is hard to...

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Seasonal Toxic Relative Disorder

Posted by on Nov 21, 2014 in Couples, Family, Family Dysfunction, Holiday Blues, Holiday Stress, Marriage, relatives, Seasonal Depression | 0 comments

Perhaps you are feeling the impending doom of embarking on a family trip over the river and through the woods to the wicked witch of the West’s house for Thanksgiving or Christmas.  Or perhaps crazy Uncle Mel will be in town for a week and has nowhere else to stay.  In many families, there are relatives who can wreak havoc on what might otherwise be a peaceful and festive gathering.  A psychological textbook could be written about the ability of one toxic person to inflict chaos and pain upon an extended family during the course of a four day...

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Ten Ways to Cope With Grief

Posted by on Oct 29, 2014 in Depression, Existential, Grief, Holiday Stress, Loss | 0 comments

Grief over a loved one dying is a challenge that all of us face at one time or another.  The usual question is: “What can I do to get through this?!”  Time does not always heal all wounds, sometimes we need to actively attend to our grief and find ways to make meaning out of what is often a tragic and traumatic event. One:  Allow Yourself to Feel.  Feel whatever emotions you are feeling at this time, and resist the temptation to label any of that as wrong, weak, or bad. You may go through the classic stages of: denial, anger, bargaining,...

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Ten Steps Toward Healthy Communication about Money

Posted by on Jul 30, 2014 in Couples, Couples Counseling, Marriage, Money, Money, Relationships, Stress | 0 comments

Many couples become stuck in a rut with money. Both people in the relationship begin to become entrenched in their opinion that the other person is “wrong”.  When the issue does come up, both fire away at each other with verbal attacks, or sarcastic comments.  Sometimes it festers below the surface and couples often either become more detached, or act in ways that are passive aggressive.  The longer these patterns continue, the further apart the couple becomes emotionally.  Gradually it becomes more difficult to communicate and make decisions...

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Waiting for Things to Get Better

Posted by on Jul 9, 2014 in anxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Relationships, Stress, Therapy | 0 comments

Imagine the following bizarre scenarios.   You wake up and a tree has fallen on your house, so you decide to wait for it to decompose on its own. You hope that the tree will roll to one side eventually and you’ll have a nice skylight. You are busy at work and there is a fire alarm. You assume it is a drill and stay at your desk. Smoke begins to fill the room. The lights have gone out and your computer stops working. You decide to hold your breath and wait and see if your computer turns back on. You’re driving down the road and hear a loud...

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But I Don’t Feel Depressed!

Posted by on Jun 4, 2014 in Depression, Dysthymic Depression, Mental Health, Therapy | 0 comments

Friends or relatives often give advice to someone that they should go to counseling for Depression, but sometimes that person doesn’t believe that they are depressed.  At times a person has lived with depressive symptoms for so long, that how they feel just seems normal.  This is especially true with a form of Depression called Dysthymic Disorder – which is sometimes referred to as a “Low Grade” depression.  While in some ways the symptoms of this kind of depression are less severe and dramatic, this Dysthymic depression can...

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Enjoy Your Weekend (and Today)

Posted by on May 21, 2014 in anxiety, Coping Skills, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Stress | 0 comments

It’s Wednesday, and I’m scrambling to get ready for a long holiday weekend.  I’m looking forward to time off, spending time with friends and “getting outta dodge”. However, the usual To-Do List has gotten longer.  There is more to pack into each day this week – aside from the usual circus of taking care of kids.   Clients talk to me about being overwhelmed like this all the time: “How can I manage the stress of day to day activities better?  It seems my life is all about getting through “the list” – all I do is work, chores, and...

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Hello ArvadaTherapy.com!

Posted by on May 16, 2014 in News Flash!, Therapy | 0 comments

After writing and choosing photos and designs and editing and re-editing, here it is, my new website:  www.arvadatherapy.com !  It’s over, I’m done! Well, sort of… at least for today. I am celebrating with a new blog.  Part of the beauty my new website is that now my blog is part of the website, which means the website will continue to evolve and change over time.   That seems appropriate.  In my therapy practice my clients change from week to week, we learn together, the process continues.   For now though it is a good feeling to get the...

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