Couples Counseling

A happy couple holding hands and having breakfast togetherAre you tired of being Angry?

You find yourself arguing about the same things over and over again.  You’re irritated when you are not talking.  You feel like you do more, you work hard, and are unappreciated.  Perhaps you negotiate, you give in and they always get what they want.  When the two of you do try to approach a sore subject, it quickly escalates into arguing.  You are tired of the constant tension, yelling and over-reactions.  You have been dealing with the same frustrations over and over and wish it could be easier.

Couples counseling can help you resolve disagreements and work through the pain of old conflicts.  Counseling with Hans J Sieber, MC, LPC can help you learn new methods of communication to resolve misunderstandings. Negative and aggressive communication can be replaced by assertiveness and compassion.  Couples counseling will help you will learn strategies to stay calm and express concerns in ways that are not hurtful.  You can stop feeling stuck in negativity, and start focusing on common goals.

Do you live with Blame and Bitterness?

When things go wrong one of you is quick to blame the other.  When you get blamed, you are quick to bring up past mistakes the other has made to use as ammunition.  It starts to feel like a constant battle.  You begin to think about how everything is the other person’s fault, instead of turning to them for help in solving problems.  You make sarcastic comments in an attempt to communicate that you wish they would change, but they just get mad.  You complain to your friends or even your kids about your significant other.  When an old complaint does get talked about, accusations fly and tempers flare.

Couples often get stuck in different corners.  When you try to talk or work things out, you get hurt so you blame the other and stop trying.  Bitterness is a way to protect yourself – if you are bitter enough, you won’t risk being hurt again. Couples counseling helps to provide a safe environment where you can learn to express how you feel in a healthy way. You begin to focus on solving problems together, instead of continuing to be stuck in bitterness.

Are you Avoiding each other?

You get tired of arguing.  Maybe you are just not sure what to talk about anymore.  The other person “will never change”, so what’s the use?  Instead of trying to find time together, you do your own thing.   In the past you might plan something special, now you just don’t bother.  Work becomes more and more important, and it is an easy out.  You busy yourself with constant home projects, activities, hobbies, and friends.  You try to be pleasant and avoid difficult topics.  You talk about superficial matters, but never talk about anything significant.

Going to couples counseling together can help you reconnect with each other.  Hans J Sieber, MC, LPC can help you resolve old issues that have driven a wedge between you. Instead of drifting further and further apart, you can begin to take steps to rebuild your relationship.  Couples counseling provides a safe environment to address old problems and can help free you from being stuck in avoidance. 

Have you lost that Spark?

Holding hands or giving an affectionate kiss on the cheek has become a thing of the past. You used to be happy to see each other at the end of the day, and now you seem tired of each other.   It is difficult to know when or how to approach intimacy, because there doesn’t seem to be any interest.   Romantic gestures or words that used to be natural have been forgotten and you take each other for granted.  When there is intimacy, it seems routine and boring.  Problems or disagreements about sex bring about hurt feelings, embarrassment, or defensiveness.  Couples begin to avoid the subject of intimacy and it becomes less and less frequent.  Is this all you have to look forward to from now on?

Most relationships don’t maintain the same passion and excitement that a brand new romance has, but together you can learn to re-light that spark.  You don’t have to accept a humdrum sex life from here on out.  Couples counseling can help decrease the anxiety of talking about intimacy.  When you begin to learn to listen to each other, you can become more responsive to each other’s needs.   You can learn to express feelings, show affection and take actions that show each other that you care. In addition, more often than not, other areas of conflict create difficulties in the bedroom.  The process of working to resolve these other relationship problems will help your romantic life as well.

 

hans-sieberHans J Sieber, MC, LPC is a Licensed Professional Counselor and National Certified Counselor with over 20 years of experience.  He has evening office hours three days per week. Please note, Couples Counseling is not usually covered by most insurance plans.   Contact Hans to ask any questions about couples counseling or his practice via phone:  720-315-0123 or email hans@hanstherapy.com  or schedule your first appointment online now.